The moment you have all been waiting for...I am done with chemo!!! Well, for now. I met with my doctor Thursday and he told me I could do chemo for one more month if I wanted (like I would want to do that!) or I could switch over to hormonal therapy (tamoxifen). We looked at the images from 3 of my CT scans and he showed me how much the tumor in my breast had shrunk over time. The reason he gave me the choice to be done with chemo or not is because the shrinkage from the last scan was minimal. If I were to do one more month of chemo it would probably still shrink a little, but in the long run it wouldn't make that much of a difference. So I chose tamoxifen. Yay!
Tamoxifen is hormonal therapy. What the heck does that mean? If you want a more detailed description you can check out this website (It is a simple Q&A): http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Therapy/tamoxifen.
If you don't want to go there I will sum it up. Your type of cancer is either estrogen receptor positive or negative. Mine is positive, hence I am eligible for tamoxifen. It will block the estrogen receptors in my breast which should shrink the tumor, but at a much slower rate than chemo. Tamoxifen acts against the effects of estrogen in the breast tissue but acts as estrogen in other parts of the body putting me at a higher risk of endometrial cancer and uterine sacroma. That's a let down. Other possible side effects are hot flashes (which I have already been experiencing...I'm sorry to you menopausal women out there, it stinks!), blood clots, stroke, and birth defects if I were to become pregnant. There are others such as fatigue, headaches and nausea, but are less common. Throughout radiation and chemo I have experienced many symptoms of pregnancy and menopause, but without having a baby or actually experiencing menopause, oh what I have to look forward to!
The next question most people ask is, "What about your hair?" It should start to grow back in 6 weeks to 3 months. I think I will keep my head shaved until it starts to grow in a little thicker, plus it is summer and hot outside. I don't mind being bald, but when it starts to grow in all thin and wispy, I look into the mirror and see a cancer patient. I have been more brave lately and gone out in public bald. The other day my mom and I were walking into Walmart as a hispanic looking man in a truck pulled close to us. He rolled his window down and said, with a thick accent, "I don't mean to be disrespectful or anything, but I really like the way you look with your head and everything." We got a kick out of it and laughed our way into the store. I guess some people like the bald look!
After all this, I do not really feel relieved. The doctor said that it is very likely the cancer will act up within 6 months-2 years. I feel like I won this battle, but there is more to face. This will a loom over me as long as I live. I am not in the clear but things are looking good for now and I am feeling much much better than I have the past few months. As far as I know I won't have surgery, but will continue on with the tamoxifen for as long as it is working. It is usually about 5 years, but differs case to case.
There is not much more to say than I have already said. My life is in God's hands. I have learned to enjoy life a little more and to live in the moment instead of planning years ahead. I find joy in the little things, and I am finding out what is most dear to me. Unfortunately it took cancer for me to realize some things, but at least I realized them and can now continue to move forward with more purpose than I have ever knew I had.
