Some Results

I have news!  Many of you have been asking me what is going on...this is because I have been a bit of a slacker and haven't updated you on the last few tests. We'll breeze through them so I can get to the results you have all been waiting for.

Mammogram-I won't go into detail.  It was not fun.  I was able to make friends with some of the ladies in the waiting room right after though.  I have a feeling that I am going to be making some more elderly friends through all of this considering my case is very rare and this usually happens to women above age 70.

MRI-Not as bad as people make it out to be.  From what I have heard from other people I thought I was going to be in a tube that was closed off on both ends with bright lights and loud noises.  Nope.  The tube was open on both ends and there were no bright lights, however there were very loud noises.  I am a pro at holding still through all these tests so that wasn't a problem.  I was quite focused on the rhythms of the sounds. Lets say if one sound was at metronome mark 160, the other sounded as if it were at 158.  They were so similar, but not quite on.  I couldn't figure it out.  A little frustrating if you ask me, but at least it helped the time pass quicker.

PET Scan-This was the most uncomfortable test for me thus far (minus all the stupid needles!) because I had to place my arms over my head which made them fall asleep.  Not the greatest position when you're supposed to hold still. hmmm. So you're probably wondering what in the world is a PET scan? I've already had a CAT scan, what's next, the DOG scan?  Well for your purposes, it is more sensitive than an MRI.  It has been explained to me a few times what exactly it is and does, but let's be honest all that scientific talk sometimes goes over my head.  They did find something in that test that I will go over in a minute.


After some tests I went in and met with my doctor to go over results.  I was informed that I have two more tumors, one on my lumbar spine and the other on my 11th rib on the right side.  What?!  I know!  Previously when I went in for the mammogram she did an ultrasound of my underarm to check for lymph nodes.  It came back negative. (If the lymph nodes are inflamed this is a sign that cancer has spread to other parts of the body).  I didn't think that it had spread elsewhere, then again I was also unaware that there were other means it can spread; through the blood.  Because of these other spots, and also the size of the tumor in my breast, the most recent diagnosis is stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Luckily my mom and both of my sisters were able to be there with me when I found out, and Tim came over as soon as he could.  As crazy as this may sound I wasn't very shocked.  I felt calm and collected in the doctors office, I had a clear mind and was able to ask questions and still be my normal self.  Of course this is not what I wanted to hear considering I thought it hadn't spread due to the negative test result on the lymph nodes, but I am ok with it.  Generally I tend to take a step back from any given situation and take into account the best and worst possible situations.  So far every time I get a test result back there is something else leading to the "worst" possible scenario.  The latests result came back today.  I found out that there is another spot near my lungs on the left side which was detected from the PET scan. No bueno.

Plan of action-There are still some tests to be done, but as of right now we are thinking radiation on the spots on my spine and rib. This will take about 3 weeks and I will probably do it in Logan.  Radiation is 5 times a week for about 10-15 minutes each.  After that, chemotherapy for 4-6 months. Blah.  I will go in for an infusion once every 2-3 weeks either in Logan or the Huntsman center, the location is still undecided as of now.  Sometime during the chemo, or after all the treatments, I will undergo a mastectomy and hopefully reconstruction immediately following.  After talking to a few people this seems to be the most logical solution, however it is still subject to change.

Am I surprised...not at all.  Am I ok, yes.  I know things are going to work out.  I don't think it is going to be a pretty road, but I have the faith that things will work out and I will survive this.  From the beginning I have felt peace about everything.  I don't want to talk much about this, but I really don't feel that this is my time to go.  I have never had any serious health problems in my life up until now, so I have a strong, young, healthy body to fight this off. And if that isn't enough, I'm just too darn stubborn and prideful to let cancer win (you can ask Tim about that...)!   I am happy and grateful to be alive.  I have found it is easier to be optimistic knowing that I have been diagnosed with this disease.  That sounds strange, but there are so many bad things I could be focusing on right now if I choose to.  I would rather focus on the little things that make me happy, like brainwashing my niece Scarlett that I am her favorite aunt, sitting in the living room with all the lights off except the christmas tree, being silly with my mom and sisters, cracking corny jokes, trying to get Tim to wear pink because it is the breast cancer color...I could go on.  The past three weeks have been difficult, don't get me wrong, but at the same time it has been so much easier to be happy because that is what I have been searching for.  I have been so focused on being happy that at times I forget I even have cancer.  On the other hand, as time passes the more I realize that this is going to be a tough road to travel.  I am still in the testing and meeting with doctor's phase and have not yet started treatments.  I am going to need these happy moments to fall back on when I am down and sick, I am going to need those guardian angels to keep me going, but most of all I will need our Savior Jesus Christ.